Sometimes, the best promotional plans never get off the ground. Besides selling Obama Watches online, we’re always looking for new places to sell them. So when I heard that an apparel chain named White House/Black Market was launching an Inaugural-inspired dress collection, my promotional brain started spinning.What a natural tie-in.

White House/Black Market is selling Inauguration-inspired dresses.
We sell the Inaugural Watch.

White House/Black Market is co-sponsor of an Inaugural Ball at the Smithsonian.
Obama Watches are in the Smithsonian. They’re not currently on display, but they are in their permanent collection

White House/Black Market is honoring the President.
Yeah, well we’re trying to make a buck, too!

So I thought, we should do a tie-in promotion. I can see the headlines now:

Obama Inaugural Watches in The White House

First, here’s a little background. The White House/Black Market apparel chain is really two separate stores. The White House sells all white apparel.  Black Market sells, well, heck, you can figure that out.

Anyway, to make a short story even longer, I made about 15 calls to seven White House/Black Market DC area stores. I spoke to the national headquarters, the DC market headquarters, the Eastern regional headquarters, the marketing department, the store facilities department. Finally, I reached a person in charge of their Inaugural promotion

She turned me down. Flat. End of conversation. I barely got a chance to stick my foot in the door.

But I don’t blame them. We contacted White House/Black Market very late in the game. They didn’t know our reputation. And their plans were already set.

So, we wish them well. And there are no hard feelings. Besides, even though Obama Inaugural Watches won’t be in White House DC area stores, Obama Watches are already in the actual White house. At least, I think they are.

In 2008, at the request of the Democratic party, I was scheduled to hand then-Senator Obama five Obama Watches. It was at a small intimate gathering of major donors at a fundraiser in Philadelphia.

Everyone else there had donated $40,000 a person, or $80,000 a couple. Me, I was there to donate 5 Obama for President Watches in cheesy gold boxes. I was supposed to put them right in his future Presidential hands.

Well, all right, as it turned out, I didn’t actually hand the watches to future leader of the Free World.

ButIwasthisclose!

I was a split second away from handing the watches to Obama, and his hands were outstretched to receive them, when a member of the not-so Secret Service grabbed them out of my hands and wrestled them to the ground, covering my cheesy gold boxes that housed the Obama timepieces with their bodies to shield the crowd from any potential trouble.

Oh, OK, maybe I exaggerate.

Actually, two Secret Service agents took the 5 Obama Watches to a separate room, carefully examined what I was supposed to give the future President, and proclaimed them safe and harmless.

Ten minutes later they came back into the room, flashed me an OK sign and gave them to an Obama aide.

A Secret Service agent told me the Obama Watches would eventually get to Senator Obama, although he couldn’t legally own them.

Now I know Senators, Presidents and even those less than perfect members of the House of Representatives are prohibited from accepting gifts worth more than $25. (Oh, stealing, bribing and general skulduggery is OK, they just can’t take a donation. House Rules.)

So it’s possible that the watches I was there to give Obama ended up in some vault in Fort Knox.

But Obama watches are so cool, I’m pretty sure there’s another explanation. Personally, I think Barack Obama decided to keep them.

I believe the 5 Obama Watches I gave Obama somehow made it to the White House once he was elected and the old tenant moved out And I’m pretty sure the President keeps his Obama Watches hidden in a cardboard box under his bed.

Late at night, he takes out a flashlight and admires the gifts I gave him. Then, he carefully puts them back in the cardboard box. Right on top of the White House/Black Market Inauguration-inspired dresses that Michelle purchased.

That’s my story and I”m sticking to it.

And since you were interested enough to read to the end of this blog, we think you deserve a Bonus. Use the Not so Secret Coupon Code: Jess and you’ll save $10 on every Obama Watch you buy. Be sure to use a capital J to get your discount.